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Thursday, 26 February 2015

How to be Happy always? How to always remain happy and positive in life?



“ Change of work is the best rest.” Thus spake Mr. Arthur Conan Doyle. Oh really? seriously?? There must be something terribly wrong either with me or with Mr. Doyle. Or maybe we both belong to two entirely different worlds. From purchasing vegetables - to cutting - to cooking - to serving - to packing lunch boxes - to cleaning - to going to work ...... No sir, sorry. The more I am changing the work, the more I am getting exhausted and neither fun nor rest are visible even from a distant mile. I want rest. Inertia. Being totally lazy. Don't look so flabbergasted! I have never experienced them in my life. And I want to. Now. Period.


Every time I yearn for those idle days and tell my friends, they advise me, “ Take leave and take rest. Never quit the job.” Since this is the common refrain from each and every friend of mine, I know this is the gospel truth. Once you become a working woman and work for a decade or two, it becomes extremely difficult to stay at home. Being idle. My well wishers scare me, “ You will be bored to death. What will you do sitting at home? It will be fun for the first few days and then you will regret.”
Really? Then what you and me are gonna do after we turn 60? Start a start up!? On a serious note, I, who am seriously planning to quit, get scared sometimes. What if? So I am being adventurous and go on taking frequent and longer leave to the irritation of my bosses and waiting for that elusive boredom to come and meet me. Either boredom is scared of me or so called scare is bored with my stubbornness, whatever it is, both are avoiding me.


Yesterday once again I was in an adventurous mood. My servant maid has quit and so I had a free evening. Sounds unbelievable! Gotcha! One girl who used to come in the evening had quit and the new girl could come and work only in the morning. So I had a free evening.
I took my purse, my mobile and informed my family not to come in search of me if I am not home early. Ah! here comes my free time and my little adventures. Only after we lose them, we start missing and  appreciating those little pleasures of life. Close your eyes, remember your childhood and try to recall your fondest memories. Those which gave you immense pleasure. When I close my eyes and recall, I get a marquee of the images. Pestering granny and getting that “ Hunasehannu bella “ -  finely grounded jaggery and tamarind with a little salt and firmly struck to an ice-cream stick! Or in Raichur's burning summer licking those orange ice candies. They used to cost one paisa per ice-cream. Because they were made from water. For milk ice cream the charge was five paisa for 2 ice-creams. If you want buy a single ice-cream, you will have to shell 3 paisa! Who wants to waste so much money! We would love to take water candies, run in the sun barefooted – no sir we didn't have the luxury of wearing slippers – even if it were Raichur sun – to home. What if the heat becomes unbearable for your feet? Easy. Bite a little candy, spit it on the ground and put your feet on it alternatively! We Indians are blessed to have indigenous solutions to every problem.  


So as I was telling, it is such little adventures and tiny pleasures that I cherish most. They bring a nostalgic memory, a smile to my lips and elevate my moods.
And to the present. I started on my evening walk. It has been more than 25 years, before my children were born, did I have this luxury. Walking alone, without any purpose. First I went in one direction and bought some “mili” - those little tamarind chocolates. Popping one in my mouth, I started off in a different direction.
I walked aimlessly, making small purchases here and there and putting them in a little bag I was carrying. A spatula, a tea sieve, some forks. My friend Meera had once showed me an aluminum plate which she used to make rotis. She would press the roti on them and put them directly on gas to prepare soft rotis. When I asked the shop keeper, he was surprised. He said he has never heard of such a thing. Same dialog repeated in five shops. I called Meera and she burst out laughing. Don't ask for roti maker, they are common aluminum lids which we vaishyas use to make rotis. Ah, here lies the secret and a solution to my problem. Aluminum lid it's gonna be!
Then some more roaming and I landed in a stationery shop which was selling a lot of plastic items. I needed a big plastic tub for my maid to put the utensils after washing. I bought one beautiful green tub. The shop was in Thyagarajanagara, barely 2 kilometers from my house. It was a small street and the chances of an auto turning up here were extremely remote. Then I grinned to myself! After all I have ventured out to have fun, and I am going to have fun! 
I paid the money and took the tub and started walking. The tub was about 2 meters in diameter and the only way I could carry it was holding it by my side! So whichever side of my body I put it, it was a no entry of two feet for the people walking near me. Unfortunately I don't have eyes on my back so I missed out a certain sniggers behind my back! But the look on the face of the people walking towards me was the one I started enjoying – a look of dismay! From far they would look at me and as they would approach nearer, they would give one look to me, one to my tub and again their eyes would come back to my face.
Oh really! If you think I would be embarrassed, better think again! Boy, I have decided to have fun and I am having loads of it! I would mischievously put the tub on my body on their side, and with a twinkle in my eye, would look into their eyes! Instead of me, they would be embarrassed and move to the other side of the road!
This continued for a while and then I came to vegetables' market. I needed my greens. The regular lady was having a hoard of customers in front of her cart. So what? I made a little room for myself and entered with my newly acquired shield, my tub. The lady standing next to me looked at me and moved a little and my tub settled comfortably between us. Lo! Two feet boundary ready! While other customers were straining their necks to meet the eyes of the vendor, me and my tub stood comfortably and finished our shopping.

Our next stop was at a fruit stall. I could see two young girls buying grapes trying hard to control their laughter and I gave them one sweet smile. Relieved, they grinned back. By the time I bought my fruits, the weight of my bag had increased considerably and a wicked idea crossed my mind. Pour everything in the tub, and put the tub on my head!

Then better sense prevailed. If any of my friends or acquaintances see me, I can explain to them and share a hearty laugh. But what if my husband Prakash's friends see me? I had to protect his reputation! On one shoulder I put my vanity bag, below the other shoulder came my tub and hugging my bag to my chest I started. Now the “No entry” zone had widened. 
When my children saw me entering the house with the tub, at first they thought I had come by auto but when I narrated the sequence of incidents, a wide grin appeared on their faces.
Why do we hesitate to have fun and live our lives the way we want to? After all it is our life and we have every right to lead it the way we want to, so long as it doesn't harm or hurt anyone. And where is the need of that constant refrain " What others may think? "


And our perceptions keep changing. When I was a kid, and the candy seller demanded 5 paisa for two candies and 3 paisa for one, I would think he is being unfair. My brother used to feel embarrassed if my sister accompanied him to school. He would avoid her by running fast to school and my sister, who used to cry, repeated it when I started accompanying her. So from childhood such false notions enter our mind. My father getting similar dresses for we sisters was a source of embarrassment, but today if I see two little girls wearing identical dresses, my eyes turn soft and I try to behold that sight.
Let us stop worrying and start living. Worrying is like rocking a chair. It gives us something to do but gets us nowhere. People who obsess about what others think tend to put ‘issues’ under the microscope and can't see the forest for the trees. If we don't get obsessed about what other people think,then we tend to look at the big picture. We only get one chance at life; are we going to allow other people’s thoughts to make it less enjoyable? Sounds silly now, doesn't it?As time goes by and as we realize how unimportant some of the things we worry about actually are, life gets easier and our constant concern starts to plummet as our confidence rises.

These seven rules of life have been making rounds on the social networking sites and many of us have received as forwards. With due acknowledgement to the unknown author, I am sharing them with you : 

Seven Cardinal Rules In Life: 

1. Make Peace With Your Past – so it does not spoil your present. Your past does not define your future, your actions and beliefs do.
2. What Others Think Of You – is NONE of your business. It’s how much you value yourself and how important you think you are.
3. Time Heals Almost Everything – give time, time. Pain will be less hurting. Scars make us who we are; they explain our life and why we are the way we are. They challenge us and force us to be stronger.
4. No One Is The Reason For Your Own Happiness – except YOU, yourself. Waste no time and effort searching for peace and contentment and joy in the world outside.
5. Do NOT Compare Your Life With Others’ – you have NO idea what their journey is all about. If we all threw our problems into a pile and saw everyone else’s, we would grab ours back as fast as we could.
6. STOP Thinking Too Much – it’s alright to NOT know ALL the answers. Sometimes there is no answer, there is not going to be an answer, or there never was an answer. THAT is the answer! Just accept it, move on, NEXT!


7. Smile – you do NOT own all of the problems of the world. A smile can brighten the darkest day and make life more beautiful. It is a potential curve to turn life around and set everything straight.
As Salman Khan would always urge people during Bigg Boss, " Do whatever you want to do man, woman,children..... 

Saturday, 14 February 2015

India vs pakistan cricket match in a world cup. India......India..............

Cricket world cup!
India Pakistan match on a Sunday morning!!
I had a very clear plan. Get up late, take a head bath, get a glass of fresh fruit juice, pick some fresh cut fruits in a bowl, toss in some dry fruits, curl up my legs and enjoy the day.




Whom I am kidding? I am a working woman, a wife, a mother of two, with a house full of expectations of a Sunday morning. Add to it an indefinite holiday of servant maid -  if I am fooling anybody, its only me.
OK I got up late. First dream accomplished! This is heavenly, getting up late on a Sunday morning. Real idea of a holiday. My hubby Prakash had gone to Mantralaya and on the way back had picked up some deliciously fresh white brinjals. Although I prepare Ennegai palya with the brinjals available here, they have skins like plastic. Don't believe me? Try doing ennegai with both of them separately and compare. Recipe? Of course it is HERE.

My mom used to say, whenever we got extremely tender brinjals in the market, that they are like young groom! Whatever that meant!!!
Well, in the morning as soon as I got up and switched on the TV, Prof. Prakash declared : I have a class and you have 45 minutes to make breakfast.
And Rohit Sharma started batting...
In a jiffy, I cut the brinjals, prepared the spices,and set to roll out chapatis.The calling bell rang. Prakash called out : " Look this boy has brought saplings you wanted." Yes, I wanted some saplings for my terrace garden and on a " working day "  I had requested him to come on a Sunday leisurely and here he was.
I did some purchases, with the fear that my brinjals may be burning nagging at the back of my mind, did some hurried bargaining - we hesitate to bargain for a few thousands in a jewelry shop but would be worried to part with a few rupees when we are shopping with these poor guys - and dumped the pots in the compound and ran inside.
Peeped in at the TV, Rohit Sharma was out and Virat Kohli had come to bat......
Thankfully Rashmi, my daughter came to help me in making chapatis. After all a daughter is a daughter is a daughter. That precious soul in every family. Thanks Modiji, for the call " Beti bachaao...". Bless them.
Once the chapatis were ready, a look at the mess in the kitchen and the sink reminded me that Saraswathi, my maid is not coming today. I remembered a lady who stays a few crosses away from me, who was willing to join in. Hoping to catch her on Sunday, I pulled on my tracks.
A peep at the TV. Virat Kohli and Shikhar Dhawan batting. Score? 150 for 1. Not bad, soon I should be able to catch the match.
Sorry sir, the lady has locked the house and left. I came back. Shikhar Dhawan out, India 2 wickets down...
I put on some chapatis and ennegai in a plate and rushed to my room. At last! The moment is here!! Sitting in my bedroom, on a Sunday morning with something special in my plate and watch India Pakistan play in a world cup match.
Man proposes and God disposes... Nay, woman proposes and God disposes. After all I have never seen Brahma, the creator being partial to women or at least being impartial to both. Rashmi entered my room with her plate in her hand and picked up the remote.
Oh no, not again! She switched on the TV and changed the channel. Simpsons its gonna be. Please, If you want to see the match, you go upstairs and join Nikhil. For a few minutes I got hooked to Simpsons. Classroom scene, witty one liners and nostalgic memories. You step back into your childhood. The beautiful part of these cartoons are the  dialogues, written by grown up men and women. The lines are so childlike, because, of course, these writers are so young at heart!
Match!!! I rushed upstairs to join Nikhil and cricket. Virat Kohli on 98 and Suresh Raina on 48. Ah! First time in the day I watched a 50 and a century being scored. Riiiiiingggg... Door bell! Who is that again?!? " It must be my friend Nithin Ma. Do you mind watching the match downstairs or shall I take him to my room?"
Enough sir. I am staying put. Dhoni and boys, you better play and play good now. It is 12.30 PM, 43 overs, India 245 for 2. I want to catch the match. India and Pakistan. In a world cup. Mr.Dhoni, even if you and your boys don't win the world cup, we don't want to watch that man in the greens burst crackers........




Friday, 6 February 2015

D Day ...............

D Day....                                                    
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Trivia....
I gave the name D Day to this write-up. Then as is my habit, I started wondering what exactly the D-Day referred to. Honestly I thought it to be an abbreviation for designated day. But curiosity took me to Google, and this is what I found. This is for those curious souls like me, willing to dig a little deeper till they find the treasure of truth  :-)
“ Historically, D-Day was a coded name for June 6 th 1944, the day Allies' troops landed on the Normandy beach, France, during World War II. Later on the term became a war  metaphor used for any day that is deemed important.”
Then I thought, whether the name I have given is appropriate? This article is all about love, engagement and marriage. But then as Shakespeare has put it, “ What is in a name? No other name given to rose will take away its sweetness.”
So D Day it is.....

Saturday, 31 January 2015

Mehendi hai rachnewali............

Nikhil and Sumana's Engagement Eve..Mehndi Night 
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Baby Doll...... All decked up with chocolates..... Eager to meet the bride.

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A boy so full of life and a girl so prudent have been brought together by destiny on a path so exclusively made for both of them. We all pray to God to adorn their path with blossoms all over, spreading the aroma of love and togetherness.With loads of love,Best wishes for a very Happy life ahead.


Tuesday, 20 January 2015

How I met her .......

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My marriage was sort of a whirlwind trip. I was working at Gulbarga, our native place and my father had come to Bangalore dairy on deputation from revenue department. And I came to visit him.This was way back in 1987.

And let me deviate a bit here to tell what Bangalore meant to us, for people born and brought up in small towns of North Karnataka. Nowadays with MOM and mobiles, Facebook and Whatsapp, the world has got truncated into a small place and you have access and connectivity to anybody from any place in the world. Living in any place in the globe is no big deal now. But back then for us Bangalore meant BANGALORE! A big dream all of us had was that at least once in life we should visit Bangalore! 

Sunday, 18 January 2015

Sulagna Savadhana...

            Prologue
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It is Sankramana Kaala, that period of time in my life where children have grown up,capable of taking care of their future and shaping their lives. My son Nikhil is getting engaged on February 1st and the marriage is scheduled on 16th of August 2015.

And it is a golden opportunity to record the events, preserve them for posterity and share with friends and families across the globe. I wish and also know for sure that I will have my friends and family in attendance to share the celebrities on the day D Day. When you are the host, you miss so many things during the event and only by watching the videos later you will be able to reconstruct the event.

But this can be compensated and I have other reasons to smile. Because I feel, more than the event and celebrations, the anticipation and the excitement and the build up to the event and the preparations have their own charisma. The thrills, frills, shopping, makeup, dressing, mehendi... the list is endless. There will be funny, mirthful and interesting incidents that bring smile, a tear, a guffaw and at times even nostalgic memories. I am going to share all these and much more with you all through my blog. Stay connected. I know you don't want to miss on anything...
Here we go !!!   
Boy Meets the Girl ............................

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Families and  Pogo......     ................. meet the girl.........
Wish Anna and Amma.... You were here .........
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Chats party at home..............
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Outing to Sangama................

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Engagement Venue ...Hotel Jayamahal Palace........
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Shopping begins at Chickpet ...... 
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With selfies ...............
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                              Want to meet the Bride .........?????
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Keep watching this space ................. 

Monday, 18 August 2014

Its All about Money, Honey....

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Childhood memories are so vivid and blissful! Especially there are some instances and incidents which remain with us and their memories are so bright and clear as if they happened just yesterday. Be it pleasant or otherwise, they will always remain with us, sometimes haunting  and yet most of the times making us nostalgic.
Like the first time I got my slippers. They were bright cotton candy pink plastic slippers. They were very rough and used to make some sound when I walked, and boy was I proud of them!
Unlike these days when we buy booties for the just born, I must have been at least 5 or 6 years old when I had my first slippers. Come to think of it, when we could have easily afforded, why did the parents then delayed in making such purchases? Was it really money that mattered or the materialistic matters were intentionally delayed??

Thursday, 6 March 2014

Happy Birthday COLONY AMMA ......

Have you ever met a person who has                                        
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  • Never got angry
  • Never shouted at anyone
  • Never let anything perturb her
  • Never felt depressed
  • Never worried
  • Never was and never looked or acted greedy
  • Never felt jealous of anyone
  • Never cried
  • Never was over-sensitive or
  • Never was overtly emotional......
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I can see the sceptic look on my readers' face.Don't think there can exist such a person? If you think so then you have not met this person. जानोगे तो मानोगे ना !  I am sure everybody except from my family would reply in negative. I am fortunate to have a Mother-in-Law who is all above and much more.

Saturday, 1 March 2014

Amma.....

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When I got married to the son of a family with a dozen siblings, I was always asked, “ How could you agree to get married into such a big family?” Strangely, it  never has been or is an issue. Because I had my own conditions to my father before I agreed to an alliance – that the boy should be an Engineer ( But of course :-D ), that he should be tall and good looking and he should not be from North Karnataka, he should not be remotely connected to North Karnataka, in fact he should not have even drank the water from North Karnataka ( With due apologies to “ಉತ್ತರ ಕರ್ನಾಟಕದ ಮಂದಿ ” )
Hello! Hold on before you call me racist. I am proud to be from North Karnataka, a region rich in culture and humanity, a region where people matter more than money, where people are strong, may be with rough lingo but with a soft inner nature belying their sort of ruffian demeanour. But ask any – ahem – beautiful girl born and brought up in North Karnataka region what she hates about her place and pat comes the reply – EVE TEASING.

It is so wild and rampant that those ruffians don't think twice before misbehaving with you even when you are with your parents, brother or even with your spouse. Even today I shudder thinking about their rowdyism and lecherous grin. So it was obvious that I make the above statement and on my wedding day my father complimented me with a wide grin “ ನೋಡಮ್ಮ ಉತ್ತರ ಕರ್ನಾಟಕದ ನೀರು ಕೂಡ ಕುಡಿಯದಿರೋ ಹುಡುಗನ ಜೊತೆ ಮದುವೆ à²®ಾಡಿದೀನಿ ..."

And when I first met my would be mother-in-law, I was sort of bemused because she looked like yesteryear actress Leelavathi,  wearing silk saree, draping a shawl around her shoulder and strings and strings of gold adorning her neck. She always carries herself with dignity and grace and believe me, even now when she is about to celebrate her hundredth birthday, she is so conscious of her looks,presentation when she has visitors. It would be altogether an interesting and captivating account of my association with her for the past quarter century, which I hope to record here one day.

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But for the present, my MIL is turning a centurion and its going to be a grand memorable event. Her family spread across the globe comprises of about 80 people of first circle – here I have not added her parents' or in-laws' family but only her children, grandchildren, great grandchildren, great great grandchildren – yes her grand daughter has a grandson now – and their spouses! Late N Ananthachar, my father-in-law has been respected and revered everywhere for being the founder of APS Educational Institutions, but there is no denying of this lady being behind that very successful man.  She is as much, if not more, as Sri. N. Ananthachar , responsible for building these huge philanthropic educational Institutions.

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And we are having a whale of a time making preparations for the grand occasion. Who can deny the pleasure one has while going on shopping with one's husband's money to buy silk sarees? And accessories? And have tete-e-tete with food ordered from every possible eatery? OK OK we spent some of their money on buying them identical Ramaraj shirts as per their dress code – of course as decided by us :-D – And the grandchildren are not far behind. They too have their group – cousins – and are checking out different malls and eateries – making plans of their attires and the grand evening party at 1947 :-D

All the family members – all the 80 of them are hosts -to around 100 of the relatives of Late Sri N Ananthachar and Smt.Narmada Bai, to a traditional Homa and luncheon in the afternoon and a grand party in the evening.

What is the immediate upcoming event? A potluck party of youngsters at Anils' on Sunday, followed by a chats party – courtesy Amruthu – and a Mehendi on Friday, before the BIG DAY on March 9 th!

Keep watching this space for latest updates!!!

Sunday, 27 October 2013

SERVICED APARTMENTS - MYSORE DUSSEHRA

Having lived in Bangalore for the past 25 years, I had missed Mysore Dussehra all these years. I always longed to visit, but somehow it never worked out. And at the back of my mind I was, may be worried about the crowd, rush and the heat. My husband would ask every year whether we can go and my reply would be always in the negative. Especially when the kids were young, I visited Mysore several times but never during Dussehra. I am sure they would have loved and enjoyed the festivities,but I would rather take them to palace and Zoo when the things were sober.

I had another issue. Because of our varying schedules and of both the children, we could not plan very well in advance and book the lodging. And once the planning was made, we could never get the accommodation. This happened for 3-4 years in succession.  Last year I had almost planned everything in advance but God up there disposed my plans and I had to spend the entire year running around the hospitals and finally going under the scissors myself.
Once I had made up my mind, but things were not turning out favourable,  it sort of became a challenge. I had to fight against all odds and make it this time. So I started very very well in advance and tried to book my office guest house in Feb itself but they were not yet ready and advised me to come back after 3 months. OK, on 1 St May I shot them another mail. No sir, that was also quite early and they asked me to get back after 2 months. When I tried to book in July and was advised to get back later, I saw red.

This has been the paradox. Either I would be too early or too late. But fortunately God had better plans for me this year. On the advice of my friend Sandhya and her son Samarth, I approached one service apartment just 10 days before Dussehra. You won't believe, I got a confirmation that 2 rooms were in fact available! This is called luck. Since last  2-3 years I have been  searching for home stay, service apartment and lodges during Dussehra but was never successful, and this year it was just a fortnight away from the festival and I was offered a best service on a platter!

Earlier I was always told that no such facilities are available in Mysore and you can find them only in Coorg district . So when I landed at Mysore with my family, I had a sense of apprehension whether my family would be happy with my choice. Believe you me, they were delighted.


The place we stayed was GOOD TOUCH serviced apartments, a building constructed just three months back and one can expect as much comfort here as at one's home. The building is ideally located at Gokulam third stage, a serene and peaceful locality, but not very far from the hub and happenings of the City. It is just 4 kilometres away from the Palace and 3 kilometres from the Railway station.
Being looked after by Mr. Ganapathy and his family, a courteous and friendly couple. the place can be a home away from home. They provide all the facilities like Wi-Fi, flat TVs, AC, car parking and a kitchen. The kitchen is worth mentioning because it is very well kept and is neat and tidy. They offer complimentary breakfast every morning, comprising regular South Indian delicacies with piping hot tea and coffee. And if you like to try your hand in cooking or would like to heat the food you have ordered, there is always oven and the gas stove.


The place is so calm and peaceful, you can spend hours sitting on the terrace. We had a splendid time going around the city, decorated like a bride, with colourful lights dazzling from each and every building. The palace with all lights was just heavenly. I am extremely happy that at last I could make my trip such a pleasant  and memorable one and wish to have another opportunity to visit this wonderful city soon!