How to be Happy always? How to always remain happy and positive in life?

“ Change of work is the best rest.” Thus spake Mr. Arthur Conan Doyle. Oh really? seriously?? There must be something terribly wrong either with me or with Mr. Doyle. Or maybe we both belong to two entirely different worlds. From purchasing vegetables - to cutting - to cooking - to serving - to packing lunch boxes - to cleaning - to going to work ...... No sir, sorry. The more I am changing the work, the more I am getting exhausted and neither fun nor rest are visible even from a distant mile. I want rest. Inertia. Being totally lazy. Don't look so flabbergasted! I have never experienced them in my life. And I want to. Now. Period.

Every time I yearn for those idle days and tell my friends, they advise me, “ Take leave and take rest. Never quit the job.” Since this is the common refrain from each and every friend of mine, I know this is the gospel truth. Once you become a working woman and work for a decade or two, it becomes extremely difficult to stay at home. Being idle. My well wishers scare me, “ You will be bored to death. What will you do sitting at home? It will be fun for the first few days and then you will regret.”

Really? Then what you and me are gonna do after we turn 60? Start a start up!? On a serious note, I, who am seriously planning to quit, get scared sometimes. What if? So I am being adventurous and go on taking frequent and longer leave to the irritation of my bosses and waiting for that elusive boredom to come and meet me. Either boredom is scared of me or so called scare is bored with my stubbornness, whatever it is, both are avoiding me.

Yesterday once again I was in an adventurous mood. My servant maid has quit and so I had a free evening. Sounds unbelievable! Gotcha! One girl who used to come in the evening had quit and the new girl could come and work only in the morning. So I had a free evening.

I took my purse, my mobile and informed my family not to come in search of me if I am not home early. Ah! here comes my free time and my little adventures. Only after we lose them, we start missing and  appreciating those little pleasures of life. Close your eyes, remember your childhood and try to recall your fondest memories. Those which gave you immense pleasure. When I close my eyes and recall, I get a marquee of the images. Pestering granny and getting that “ Hunasehannu bella “ -  finely grounded jaggery and tamarind with a little salt and firmly struck to an ice-cream stick! Or in Raichur's burning summer licking those orange ice candies. They used to cost one paisa per ice-cream. Because they were made from water. For milk ice cream the charge was five paisa for 2 ice-creams. If you want buy a single ice-cream, you will have to shell 3 paisa! Who wants to waste so much money! We would love to take water candies, run in the sun barefooted – no sir we didn't have the luxury of wearing slippers – even if it were Raichur sun – to home. What if the heat becomes unbearable for your feet? Easy. Bite a little candy, spit it on the ground and put your feet on it alternatively! We Indians are blessed to have indigenous solutions to every problem.  

So as I was telling, it is such little adventures and tiny pleasures that I cherish most. They bring a nostalgic memory, a smile to my lips and elevate my moods.

And to the present. I started on my evening walk. It has been more than 25 years, before my children were born, did I have this luxury. Walking alone, without any purpose. First I went in one direction and bought some “mili” - those little tamarind chocolates. Popping one in my mouth, I started off in a different direction.

I walked aimlessly, making small purchases here and there and putting them in a little bag I was carrying. A spatula, a tea sieve, some forks. My friend Meera had once showed me an aluminum plate which she used to make rotis. She would press the roti on them and put them directly on gas to prepare soft rotis. When I asked the shop keeper, he was surprised. He said he has never heard of such a thing. Same dialog repeated in five shops. I called Meera and she burst out laughing. Don't ask for roti maker, they are common aluminum lids which we vaishyas use to make rotis. Ah, here lies the secret and a solution to my problem. Aluminum lid it's gonna be!

Then some more roaming and I landed in a stationery shop which was selling a lot of plastic items. I needed a big plastic tub for my maid to put the utensils after washing. I bought one beautiful green tub. The shop was in Thyagarajanagara, barely 2 kilometers from my house. It was a small street and the chances of an auto turning up here were extremely remote. Then I grinned to myself! After all I have ventured out to have fun, and I am going to have fun! 

I paid the money and took the tub and started walking. The tub was about 2 meters in diameter and the only way I could carry it was holding it by my side! So whichever side of my body I put it, it was a no entry of two feet for the people walking near me. Unfortunately I don't have eyes on my back so I missed out a certain sniggers behind my back! But the look on the face of the people walking towards me was the one I started enjoying – a look of dismay! From far they would look at me and as they would approach nearer, they would give one look to me, one to my tub and again their eyes would come back to my face.

Oh really! If you think I would be embarrassed, better think again! Boy, I have decided to have fun and I am having loads of it! I would mischievously put the tub on my body on their side, and with a twinkle in my eye, would look into their eyes! Instead of me, they would be embarrassed and move to the other side of the road!

This continued for a while and then I came to vegetables' market. I needed my greens. The regular lady was having a hoard of customers in front of her cart. So what? I made a little room for myself and entered with my newly acquired shield, my tub. The lady standing next to me looked at me and moved a little and my tub settled comfortably between us. Lo! Two feet boundary ready! While other customers were straining their necks to meet the eyes of the vendor, me and my tub stood comfortably and finished our shopping.

Our next stop was at a fruit stall. I could see two young girls buying grapes trying hard to control their laughter and I gave them one sweet smile. Relieved, they grinned back. By the time I bought my fruits, the weight of my bag had increased considerably and a wicked idea crossed my mind. Pour everything in the tub, and put the tub on my head!

Then better sense prevailed. If any of my friends or acquaintances see me, I can explain to them and share a hearty laugh. But what if my husband Prakash's friends see me? I had to protect his reputation! On one shoulder I put my vanity bag, below the other shoulder came my tub and hugging my bag to my chest I started. Now the “No entry” zone had widened. 

When my children saw me entering the house with the tub, at first they thought I had come by auto but when I narrated the sequence of incidents, a wide grin appeared on their faces.

Why do we hesitate to have fun and live our lives the way we want to? After all it is our life and we have every right to lead it the way we want to, so long as it doesn't harm or hurt anyone. And where is the need of that constant refrain " What others may think? "

And our perceptions keep changing. When I was a kid, and the candy seller demanded 5 paisa for two candies and 3 paisa for one, I would think he is being unfair. My brother used to feel embarrassed if my sister accompanied him to school. He would avoid her by running fast to school and my sister, who used to cry, repeated it when I started accompanying her. So from childhood such false notions enter our mind. My father getting similar dresses for we sisters was a source of embarrassment, but today if I see two little girls wearing identical dresses, my eyes turn soft and I try to behold that sight.

Let us stop worrying and start living. Worrying is like rocking a chair. It gives us something to do but gets us nowhere. People who obsess about what others think tend to put ‘issues’ under the microscope and can't see the forest for the trees. If we don't get obsessed about what other people think,then we tend to look at the big picture. We only get one chance at life; are we going to allow other people’s thoughts to make it less enjoyable? Sounds silly now, doesn't it?As time goes by and as we realize how unimportant some of the things we worry about actually are, life gets easier and our constant concern starts to plummet as our confidence rises.

These seven rules of life have been making rounds on the social networking sites and many of us have received as forwards. With due acknowledgement to the unknown author, I am sharing them with you : 

Seven Cardinal Rules In Life: 

1. Make Peace With Your Past – so it does not spoil your present. Your past does not define your future, your actions and beliefs do.

2. What Others Think Of You – is NONE of your business. It’s how much you value yourself and how important you think you are.

3. Time Heals Almost Everything – give time, time. Pain will be less hurting. Scars make us who we are; they explain our life and why we are the way we are. They challenge us and force us to be stronger.

4. No One Is The Reason For Your Own Happiness – except YOU, yourself. Waste no time and effort searching for peace and contentment and joy in the world outside.

5. Do NOT Compare Your Life With Others’ – you have NO idea what their journey is all about. If we all threw our problems into a pile and saw everyone else’s, we would grab ours back as fast as we could.

6. STOP Thinking Too Much – it’s alright to NOT know ALL the answers. Sometimes there is no answer, there is not going to be an answer, or there never was an answer. THAT is the answer! Just accept it, move on, NEXT!

7. Smile – you do NOT own all of the problems of the world. A smile can brighten the darkest day and make life more beautiful. It is a potential curve to turn life around and set everything straight.

As Salman Khan would always urge people during Bigg Boss, " Do whatever you want to do man, woman,children.....