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Friday 22 February 2019

garden humour | Monkey Baat - how to keep monkey away from my garden



chitrannaa.blogspot.com


This is my harvest today.
There is an interesting story behind this bountiful harvest. In my tussle with the monkeys over my garden veggies, today both of us got one point each.

How to beat the monkeys to have first claim over my garden produce? When I decided to have this "monkey baat" with my family and my friends, many suggestions came.

To build a grill around my garden.
No sir, being a nature lover, I love the sky as much as I love the earth. I don't want to look at stars through the bars.

Put a stuffed lion toy.
Ok.
I got a lion toy and put it on the terrace.
On the next day when there was a commotion on the terrace, I ran upstairs, hoping that my lion would have scared the monkeys.
Guess what??
About three to four monkeys were pulling my lion from all the directions, each wanting to play with it!!
Finally one big fella won the match, dragged my lion across the terrace and finally sat on it. Seriously???



And yet someone suggested to burst the crackers when the monkeys come.
Unfortunately the monkeys are not like our netas nor like Lord Ganesha.
They come unannounced.
According to their whims and fancies.
And the crackers are lying idle.
No sir.
I burst the crackers only when India beats Pakistan. On the field or off the field.
Either when Virat wins or when Modiji wins.
Period.

Then a friend suggested to put a berchappa - a scary doll in the terrace.
Are you kidding?
When I stand there right in front of them holding a stick, with my red angry face glaring, they give me a look of utter contempt.
As if telling me that they care two hoots for my antics.
So when a live berchappa can't scare them, and a stuffed lion becomes their toy, I can very well imagine how they would drag my berchappa on the road and people would be scared that the monkeys have murdered a human being and dragging his body!
Scary. Isn't it??

When I lamented with my sister Shobha that the monkeys are neither scared of the lion nor of my scary angry face, she came up with a brilliant idea.
That I should myself dress up like a berchappa and stand there.
And then when the monkeys come I should swing my arm with a stick.
Really?
Are you serious?
Are you serious??
Are you serious???
She ran away before I could swing a stick at her!



Then I came up with a brilliant idea. I thought that the monkeys will eat my vegetables only if they can see them. What if I put a cap on my veggies and cover them.

Patting myself on my back for my smart idea, I brought some thick non transparent plastic covers and put on all my tomatoes, brinjals and cucumbers.

Alas! The brilliant me committed a silly mistake and monkeys beat me again with their smartness.
Oh!
But Darwin says that we are the evolved species!!!
Darn the monkeys!
I stand corrected.
The monkeys beat me with their crookedness.

I had thought that I had covered all the veggies! But while covering I was looking at the veggies from my height, and forgot that the monkeys would be roaming on my terrace at 2 feet and can easily look up and see the veggies hiding under the plastic covers. Silly me!

What?
Are you guys having fun?
Laughing at me that I can't do anything and the monkeys are winning over me?
Think again.

Watch HERE to see what I did to beat them!!!
But then....

Tomorrow being the weekend, I had planned to do my harvest.
And today they arrived.



But in the match between the two of us, today both of us won a point each.
They would always beat me to pick tomotoes.
And brinjals.
And cucumbers.
I would always be waiting for my veggies to grow a little bigger and meanwhile the monkeys would beat me.
Oh Common. Can't you wait for some more days?
You would get a bigger vegetable. Idiot!

And this time I had meticulously draped my brinjals, tomatoes and cucumbers with cotton saree.
Did the monkeys buy it? Whether my idea was successful?
But of course!
So today the monkeys arrived.
One day before I had planned my harvest.

They could not see their regular tomatoes, brinjals, cucumbers.
And the beans.
I scored a brownie point.
End of my batting.

But could I burst the crackers?
Alas, No.

For more than a year, I have been growing cabbages. I have many pots filled with healthy cabbages. But never ever the monkeys had touched them.
Till today.
May be they had thought that the cabbage is just a plant.
May be they never knew that it's a veggie and they can really eat them.
May be because of the shape of the cabbage, they had presumed them to be flowers.
That's what I had thought.
I would like to think that that's what they would have thought and that that's the truth.
That they are dumbos.



But today they ate five of my big cabbages.
Not fully.
All the monkeys together ate some parts of five cabbages.
Idiots!
At least can't you finish the ones you have started and then go to the next one?
Can't you share one together?
And then go to the next?

So the next brownie point went to the monkeys.
They batted equally well.

When is the second innings?

Not before I drape my cabbages with the sarees.

But not willing to take any chance with the other small cabbages, I have harvested all the cabbages today. And also the tomotoes.
And the brinjals.
And the greens.
And also the chillies.
Even the flowers.

Still there are many cabbages in the garden which are just growing.
Should I drape the cabbages also with the sarees?
Hope they will be safeguarded.

Results would be out after the second innings.

Who is the night watchman?
My stuffed lion.

Keep watching this space to know the results.......



You may also read our other interesting and useful gardening tips.......

1. Organic gardening method - How to grow veggies in a very very small place

2. Organic gardening medium - How to grow easily without soil and with less water

3. Organic gardening plants - What all the vegetables we can grow in 10x10 area 

4. Organic Manure composting - How to use your kitchen waste directly in your pots to compost and prepare organic manure

5. How to grow and harvest cabbages in containers